As a christian, there are some basic absolutes in finding the right one. Sometimes, people get attached emotionally and completely dismiss these simple red flags.
For me, I knew I was called into the ministry from my teenage years and marrying the right person was the most important decision. I didn’t want to make that decision on my own. I knew that in order to fulfill the call of God I would need to choose wisely and with the help of the Holy Spirit. I am thankful that I relied on His leading and wisdom and I am excited to share some keys with you that I believe will help you!
Below are some questions you can ask yourself about the relationship you are currently in.
1.) Are you on the same page?
How can two walk together unless they agree? (Amos 3:3)
The bible talks about being unequally yoked see 2 Corinthians 6:14
When you make the decision as a christian to marry an unbeliever. You are making the decision to be unequally yoked. Unfortunately, you are putting your success on odds from the beginning. It’s easier for someone to bring you down the cliff then for you to get them up on the cliff with you because of gravity. The same is true in marriage.
A yoke is a wooden bar that joins two oxen to each other and to the burden they pull. An “unequally yoked” team has one stronger ox and one weaker, or one taller and one shorter. The weaker or shorter ox would walk more slowly than the taller, stronger one, causing the load to go around in circles. When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another.
2.) What’s the purpose?
Considering you are both saved. Now you want to ask yourself what is the purpose?
If one feels called into the full-time ministry and the other doesn’t. How will that work?
I’ve seen some couples that want to get married and the girl is radically on fire for God, and the guy is saved but is not really interested in the things of God like she is. Sooner or later he will bring her down, you might as well recognize the signs before you say “I do”. The last thing you want in your marriage is someone who is not working with you. Marriage is about teamwork.
I am not talking to married couples. If you are already married, you need to work things out. You need to help each other up, pray for each other and encourage each other.
I’ve seen ministers that were in the ministry but their wives were always on the sideline never fully behind the vision or against the whole thing to begin with. This is such a shame because God calls you together to be a team to fulfill the vision He gives you together. He sees you as one flesh!
3 things usually take place in the scenario above:
1.) The wife is miserable and the husband is torn
2.) the ministry fails or never reaches its full potential
3.) the kids backslide
The bible teaches us that where UNITY is God commands the blessing. IF your house is divided against itself it will not be able to stand.
3.) Is this exceeding abundantly above my desires?
Ephesians 3:20- Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,
The bible also says if you delight yourself in the Lord He will give you the desires of your heart. (Ps.37:4)
If your heart is pure before God then guess what, He will give you the desires of your heart. I always feel like God places the desires in our hearts for the sole purpose of fulfilling them.
I sometimes thought that my desires for a husband were way over the top.
I made a list of what I desired in my future husband and I chose all things of the heart that mattered to me because my experience was that if a man was good looking he tended to be arrogant with bad character. So I said to myself I’d much rather have an “ok” looking guy with an amazing heart and great character then a good looking one with a rotten heart. Guess what? God did exceedingly above my desires. Not only does my husband have all of the heart things that I desired but he is incredibly attractive.
God is good!
God is no respecter of persons. What he has made happen for us He can make happen for you. Delight yourself in HIM. Seek his kingdom and don’t even worry about it. If you have a desire to get married then that desire will be fulfilled.
IF you are in a relationship and you feel like well I guess this is what God has for me. Or you feel any bit of compromise then I’m here to tell you that this is NOT it.
DON’T COMPROMISE. DON’T SETTLE.
My husband and I will be sharing LIVE on Facebook about relationships THIS FRIDAY at 19:00 o’clock Amsterdam time, or 1pm Eastern Time.